The Children of Migrants

In May of this year, the Trump administration instituted a zero-tolerance policy that prosecuted anyone who crossed the US border illegally. The policy has resulted in children being removed from the custody of their parents while those parents were referred for prosecution. Many of these families were and are actually seeking asylum in the US due to violence and instability across many countries in Central America.   Unfortunately, asylum seekers are being treated as illegal border crossings. Since then nearly 3,000 children have been separated from their parents and placed in an assortment of detention centers, group homes, and foster care all over the US. Parents have not been able to contact their children and reunification has been limited.

The politics around this issue are nasty, and the optics and the reality have been horrible. In mid-June Trump signed an Executive Order designed to prevent further family separations, but the EO did not address families who were already dispersed. In late June, a federal judge granted the injunction to prevent further separations, and directions to return all children to their parents within 21 days, less for young children. One major issue cited in the ruling is the fact that the kids’ connections to their biological parents have not been documented well, so it remains to be seen whether all of the children will really be reunited with their families.

This crisis is especially triggering across the adoption community. In this episode guest, adoption attorney, Michelle Hughes joins us to talk about the myriad of issues this moment raises. 

AdoptiveBlackMom is joined on the show by Cristi, a foster mom, who shares a bit about her journey fostering and planning a future domestic adoption. 

Show Notes

It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye…

We know, we know! Add Water and Stir has been idle for more six months as Mimi and ABM have been out raising kids, starting businesses, doing research and in short living their best and sometimes stretched lives. On this episode of the show, the ladies get together to chat about a change that’s been a year in the making: One of them is leaving.

Yes, you read that right: One of the hosts of Add Water and Stir is leaving. Mimi has decided to ride off into the sunset to pursue some other projects. The reality is that podcasting is hard work and sometimes advocating for the health and well-being of Black and brown children is taxing when most adoption spaces are dominated by people who don’t look like us and when those voices are often more highly valued than ours. The truth is that it’s exhausting and there are countless other ways of pursuing change. So, Mimi is off to slay dragons in other spaces doing some other really cool things for these kids and their families locally with all of the “not-so-free time” she has regained by leaving the show.

After months of despair, ABM has reluctantly decided to continue Add Water and Stir!  There are more stories to be told, and there’s much more information about raising children of color in foster and adoptive homes to share. With the help of great friends and allies, she hopes to continue delivering meaningful content on fostering, adopting and raising well-adjusted and well loved children of color. Of course, she’s also on the hunt for a  co-host successor for Mimi (#irreplaceable). Interested? Drop her a line at adoptiveblackmom@gmail.com!

It’s been a great ride! It’s been our pleasure to share our stories and our friendship with you over the last few years. We love hearing from you and have deeply appreciated the messages wondering about the show and when/if we intended to record again. Thank you!

So, again, this isn’t goodbye, rather it’s: *Just give us a few minutes!* Add Water and Stir will be back soon.

In the meantime, tweet us with some of your favorite Add Water-Mimi moments at @AWASPod!

THIS IS US: The Add Water and Stir Podcast Recap

‘This Is Us’ Recap: Season 2, Episode 03

Randall and Beth welcome Deja to the family, and the sweet girl is understandably overwhelmed by all the upheaval in her life. Kevin has serious daddy issues, but Sly Stallone probably wishes he dealt with that on his own time. Rebecca would love to her and Jack to have some sexy times…but Jack isn’t down with that just yet. Annie and Tess prove to be the Pearson’s best version of a welcome wagon.

Listen to our thoughts on ‘This Is Us” Season 2, Episode 02, Deja Vu:

Be sure to also check out our Twitter Storify!


Mimi and ABM from the Add Water and Stir Podcast recap NBC’s hit series, “This Is Us” with added commentary about race, class, privilege,  adoption and a bit of humor.  Join the conversation on our Facebook page and check out our entire podcast catalog at addwaterandstirpodcast.com.

THIS IS US: The Add Water and Stir Podcast Recap

‘This Is Us’ Recap: Season 2, Episode 02

So, why didn’t Kate and Kevin call Randall for their birthday? And why didn’t someone tell Kevin that his Mr. T isn’t exactly a real talent? Randall’s name becomes a verb this week, but Toby is the true champ for being Team Kate FOR-EVA!

Check out this our recap for Season 2, Episode 2, “A Manny-Splendored Thing.”

Listen to our thoughts on ‘This Is Us” Season 2, Episode 02:

Be sure to also check out our Twitter Storify!


Mimi and ABM from the Add Water and Stir Podcast recap NBC’s hit series, “This Is Us” with added commentary about race, class, privilege,  adoption and a bit of humor.  Join the conversation on our Facebook page and check out our entire podcast catalog at addwaterandstirpodcast.com.

THIS IS US: The Add Water and Stir Podcast Recap

‘This Is Us’ Recap: Season 2, Episode 01

Were Kate’s excessive accessories the REAL reason why she tanked the audition? Do Beth and Randall have a hidden nanny that cooks, cleans and braids hair so they BOTH can go running in the morning? What’s Kevin’s storyline? Is Rebecca ‘ride-or-die’ or what?

Seriously though…are y’all just as geeked as we are the new storylines.  We are looking forward to seeing black people adopting AND adopting an older child.

Listen to our thoughts on ‘This Is Us” Season 2, Episode 01:

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Mimi and ABM from the Add Water and Stir Podcast recap NBC’s hit series, “This Is Us” with added commentary about race, class, privilege,  adoption and a bit of humor.  Join the conversation on our Facebook page and check out our entire podcast catalog at addwaterandstirpodcast.com.

THIS IS US: The Add Water and Stir Podcast Recap

‘This Is Us’ Recap: Season 1, Episode 16

Is Beth the best wife ever? Who knew Paper Boi could sing? Do black men quote Oprah IRL?  Are we all mad at Rebecca for keeping Randall and William apart?  Did someone call Jesse? Who will sign our petition if they don’t get an Emmy nod for this episode?

Listen to our thoughts on ‘This Is Us” Season 1, Episode 16:

Download


Mimi and ABM from the Add Water and Stir Podcast recap NBC’s hit series, “This Is Us” with added commentary about race, class, privilege,  adoption and a bit of humor.  Join the conversation on our Facebook page and check out our entire podcast catalog at addwaterandstirpodcast.com.

Telling Your Child Their Adoption Story

We were cruising the internet recently and came across an intriguing post inquiring how and when parents should tell their children they are adopted. We thought this was an important question that needed an answer, so we reached out to our pal Tao to help us out. Here’s her story about being and learning she was adopted.

I don’t remember being told I was adopted. I don’t remember the first-time mom or dad told me my story. I have no idea how old I was; it’s just always been a part of me. My story was told often, I think it was even retold on my 40th family birthday dinner. It isn’t your typical story people gush over, it has a ‘*oh my* element that can raise eyebrows and funny bits.

It came up in conversations organically. Along the lines of “Did I ever tell you the story about how we adopted you?”

I hope all parents use that same tone to describe how they adopted their child. It’s simple. Easy to weave into the conversation whether just to the child or to family and friends. No big reveal. Just a few short lines; my story goes something like this.

One day the doorbell rang and mom and my siblings went to see who was there. Mom was surprised to see Mrs. A, the Social Worker who’d helped them adopt my siblings, and invited her in. Mrs. A asked mom if they’d consider adopting another baby (me) because they couldn’t find a family for me, mom told Mrs. A they couldn’t adopt me, they had their hands full with two toddlers and everything else as it was, so Mrs. A left.

A few weeks later Mrs. A returned, ringing the doorbell again. Just like the last time mom answered it with my siblings behind her and invited her in, this time though, Mrs. A had brought me with her because she still hadn’t found a family to adopt me and would she reconsider.

Again, mom said no to the question. At that point, my oldest sibling took off to dad’s home office and told him Mrs. A was there, with me. Together, my sibling and dad came back upstairs and into the living room; dad looked at me and said “Sure we’ll adopt her.” That’s how I came to be adopted. Of course, that isn’t the end of my story or the many conversations we had over the years.

Bringing up your child’s adoption story makes it okay to talk about being adopted and okay to ask questions. When they are little, it’s just how and why they are adopted, but your conversations will get harder. They will get more in-depth, including wanting to talk about their other mother and father and why they needed to be adopted. Each time, the conversations can include information that the child can understand as time passes.

Thanks Tao for sharing your story.

The big takeaway here:  Tell your child he or she is adopted; tell them early and normalize the adoption conversations in your home. It’s never too early to begin to tell your kids their adoption stories so they remember always knowing it, and they always feel comfortable talking about their story.

Be sure to visit Tao over at her blog, www.TheAdoptedOnes.com!

Celebrating Black History with Family

February is Black History Month in the United States, and this is a month when the hosts really go hard on raising awareness about the contributions of African-American and black Americans with their children. Whether it’s the ongoing emotional upheaval of national politics or ABM’s hectic travel schedules, the ladies confess that this year they have not pressed as much Black History Month content on their children. ABM and Mimi discuss how if families are talking about the contributions of diverse historical figures all the time, then the need to compensate during awareness months is less. Black history, as well as diversity contributions from all people of color, should be integrated into family life every day.

Mimi and ABM also take a poke at the president by wishing Frederick Douglass well, since apparently, he’s alive!

The third week of February is National Random Act of Kindness Week. The hosts discuss how observing this awareness week provides a nice opportunity to teach their children to be kind to each other. Mimi raised the point that being kind really isn’t random; it requires ongoing mindful intentionality. Mimi and ABM chatted about participating in the week and hoping their listeners will as well. Let’s start a wave of kind acts.

This year we wanted to share our thoughts on the societal impact of having cultural awareness months and holidays and how they can bring meaning to our families.

The Wind Down features ABM being a little giddy about Aretha Franklin following her on Twitter and reminiscing about their early podcasting days when they chuckled about Cissy Houston side-eyeing Aretha Franklin.

Mimi and ABM conclude the show with a big announcement: Add Water and Stir will be sunsetting at the end of February.  The archives will still be available as will the Facebook page and Twitter feed. The show is being retooled and rebranded. The ladies will be back and ready to rock in early June 2017!

Show Notes

THIS IS US: The Add Water and Stir Podcast Recap

‘This Is Us’ Recap: Season 1, Episode 15

Will Kate and Toby’s long engagement work out? Can a married person go on tour with someone that has seen them naked? Is Jack’s lonely drink at O’Shannon’s his final one? Will Randall get an Emmy nod for dropping that “Glory” tear AT WORK? Do we like Kevin now – I mean, we kind of have to, right?  Once again, where the heck is Beth going?

Listen to our thoughts on ‘This Is Us” Season 1, Episode 15:

Download


Mimi and ABM from the Add Water and Stir Podcast recap NBC’s hit series, “This Is Us” with added commentary about race, class, privilege,  adoption and a bit of humor.  Join the conversation on our Facebook page and check out our entire podcast catalog at addwaterandstirpodcast.com.

THIS IS US: The Add Water and Stir Podcast Recap

‘This Is Us’ Recap: Season 1, Episode 14

Is Kevin a Facebook stalker? Does Kate slide into Duke’s DMs aka Cabin 13? Can Toby be any more annoying? Did Jack clean the bathroom before their special date? Is Randall going to have to choke a b**** at work a la Wayne Brady? Can Beth possibly be more awesome?

Listen to our thoughts on ‘This Is Us” Season 1, Episode 14:

Download


Mimi and ABM from the Add Water and Stir Podcast recap NBC’s hit series, “This Is Us” with added commentary about race, class, privilege,  adoption and a bit of humor.  Join the conversation on our Facebook page and check out our entire podcast catalog at addwaterandstirpodcast.com.