On this episode of Add Water and Stir, ABM and Mimi discuss the common problem of parenting guilt as well as the use of positive adoption language.
Parents often feel guilty about all kinds of things. We question whether we spent enough time with our children, whether we are able to provide enough opportunities for them, whether we are using the right kinds of consequences and motivators for our children. During this episode, ABM and Mimi talk about their own experiences with parenting guilt as well as adoption guilt. It turns out, that the guilt is tied very closely with shame and depression. The big takeaway? Go easy on ourselves and practice more self-care.
On the second segment, the ladies discuss the use of respectful/positive adoption language (RAL). Prompted by a birth mother’s request not to be called BM in a social media support group and subsequently being accused of being “too sensitive,” ABM and Mimi explore adoption language and whether it really meets the needs of the community. . Although RAL is designed to promote respect and dignity in the adoption community, this language has been criticized for being dismissive of unethical practices sometimes present in adoption.
In the Wind Down, Mimi and ABM chuckle about singing gospel spirituals to deal with the stress of child-rearing. They also briefly chat about Mimi missing a possible hall pass opportunity with Don Cheadle.
As usual Mimi and ABM read some listener feedback and provide a few recommendations to sum up the show.
Positive/Respectful Adoption Language
- Speaking Positively: Using Respectful Adoption Language
- Whitewashing Adoption:
- A Critique of “Respectful Adoption Language”
- Adoption Forum Conversations
- Venting: The Difference Between Two Letters and Four Letters
‘Positive’ Adoption Language?